(Via Lindsay Via Facebook)
You Should Read This.... When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question.
This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing.
I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me.
But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce.
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work.
I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. i suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’ s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute.
I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.
Do you have a fever? She said.
I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was too busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from whatever negative reaction it would have on our son, in case we pushed through with the divorce. —At least, in the eyes of our son—-I’m a loving husband….
THE SMALL DETAILS OF YOUR LIVES ARE WHAT REALLY MATTER IN A RELATIONSHIP. "IT'S NOT" the Mansion or House, the Car, Property, the Money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Most of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up... YOU DON'T REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE UNTIL ITS GONE!!
***PLEASE RE-POST & PASS THIS ON***
Friday, January 13, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
End of Year Meme: 2011
(Via Kitten Via Facebook)
1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before? I went through two looking glasses, healed the seven shards of my soul, to the Darke Tower came (there and back again), succeeded at my quest to get a second job as a project manager, went to a rave, learned several stupid things not to do the hard way, had my soul crushed by professionals and got over it.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Yes. And Yes.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes. My Sister, and she is quite golden.
4. Did anyone close to you die? No. But as I get older it is only a matter of time now.
5. What countries did you visit? Other countries? None. I could have gone to Canada but I forgot my @#$@#$ passport. However, I routinely visit other realities. Some of which are actually worth visiting.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011? Le Amor.
7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? October 26, 2011, because that which is sacred was turned into profanity by pettiness, only to be saved by an exceptional friend. June 6th. Because. December 22nd, because I took unto myself a new name.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Finishing the Graphic Novel script.
9. What was your biggest failure? Falling a little too hard for a pretty smile that never meant it in the first place, and reaping the whirlwind for it.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? A broken collar bone.
11. What was the best thing you bought? My new duster. It rocketh. And it was cheap too. :)
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? The friends that learned to stand up for themselves a little more. The friends that experienced more joy. The family members that forgave and moved on.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? October 26nd. Still MY day no matter the efforts to taint it.
14. Where did most of your money go? Traffic bills.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Finally getting an idea for the 5th novel that I ACTUALLY want to write. Having a direction of where to go again. Having a plan to solve the gaping hole in my life.
16. What song will always remind you of 2011? Riding a Black Unicorn Down the Side of An Erupting Volcano Whilst Driving From a Chalice Filled With the Laughter of Small Children
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
a) Happier. Barely. b) Slightly fatter since I have only just restarted exercise after a 3 month hiatus due to broken rib and unemployment. Slightly poorer but only just a little.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Reading, Dating, Bow Hunting (metaphorically speaking)
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Buying raffle tickets, putting up with inane stupidity, letting myself be used.
20. How did you spend Christmas? In Atlanta with Family and Friends.
21. Did you fall in love in 2011? No. I had 2-3 serious crushes, but they never knew anything about it.
22. What was your favorite TV program? Breaking Bad.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Hate the person? No. Hate the time I wasted with that person? Absolutely.
24. What was the best book you read? High Midnight. The Thousand Kingdoms. Feed.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Voltaire followed by the Sexual Side Effects followed by Elvis.
26. What did you want and get? 5 physical objects I set out as a goal. I got them all.
27. What did you want and not get? A permanent job. Sufficient enlightened experience.
28. What was your favorite film of this year? Kick Ass. Hugo.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Nothing of consequence. Celebrated with family. 39.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Nothing, because the dark things opened doors to greater joy that would not have happened.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011? Leather Quasi Fedora, black polished shoes, pressed blue jeans, button down vermillion red shirt, Leather Duster, Sun glasses.
32. What kept you sane? The occasional trip out of Atlanta and I had a little help from my friends and family.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I like Julian Assange, even though he's kind of an arrogant prick.
34. What political issue stirred you the most? OWS
35. Who did you miss? The better question is who did I miss at the end of it, and the answer is...no one.
36. Who was the best new person you met? I have met a lot of rather interesting and fantastic people but I must say the most fascinating is Rob Mosca.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011. If you cannot master yourself, you are a slave.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before? I went through two looking glasses, healed the seven shards of my soul, to the Darke Tower came (there and back again), succeeded at my quest to get a second job as a project manager, went to a rave, learned several stupid things not to do the hard way, had my soul crushed by professionals and got over it.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Yes. And Yes.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes. My Sister, and she is quite golden.
4. Did anyone close to you die? No. But as I get older it is only a matter of time now.
5. What countries did you visit? Other countries? None. I could have gone to Canada but I forgot my @#$@#$ passport. However, I routinely visit other realities. Some of which are actually worth visiting.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011? Le Amor.
7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? October 26, 2011, because that which is sacred was turned into profanity by pettiness, only to be saved by an exceptional friend. June 6th. Because. December 22nd, because I took unto myself a new name.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Finishing the Graphic Novel script.
9. What was your biggest failure? Falling a little too hard for a pretty smile that never meant it in the first place, and reaping the whirlwind for it.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? A broken collar bone.
11. What was the best thing you bought? My new duster. It rocketh. And it was cheap too. :)
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? The friends that learned to stand up for themselves a little more. The friends that experienced more joy. The family members that forgave and moved on.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? October 26nd. Still MY day no matter the efforts to taint it.
14. Where did most of your money go? Traffic bills.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Finally getting an idea for the 5th novel that I ACTUALLY want to write. Having a direction of where to go again. Having a plan to solve the gaping hole in my life.
16. What song will always remind you of 2011? Riding a Black Unicorn Down the Side of An Erupting Volcano Whilst Driving From a Chalice Filled With the Laughter of Small Children
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
a) Happier. Barely. b) Slightly fatter since I have only just restarted exercise after a 3 month hiatus due to broken rib and unemployment. Slightly poorer but only just a little.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Reading, Dating, Bow Hunting (metaphorically speaking)
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Buying raffle tickets, putting up with inane stupidity, letting myself be used.
20. How did you spend Christmas? In Atlanta with Family and Friends.
21. Did you fall in love in 2011? No. I had 2-3 serious crushes, but they never knew anything about it.
22. What was your favorite TV program? Breaking Bad.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Hate the person? No. Hate the time I wasted with that person? Absolutely.
24. What was the best book you read? High Midnight. The Thousand Kingdoms. Feed.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Voltaire followed by the Sexual Side Effects followed by Elvis.
26. What did you want and get? 5 physical objects I set out as a goal. I got them all.
27. What did you want and not get? A permanent job. Sufficient enlightened experience.
28. What was your favorite film of this year? Kick Ass. Hugo.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Nothing of consequence. Celebrated with family. 39.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Nothing, because the dark things opened doors to greater joy that would not have happened.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011? Leather Quasi Fedora, black polished shoes, pressed blue jeans, button down vermillion red shirt, Leather Duster, Sun glasses.
32. What kept you sane? The occasional trip out of Atlanta and I had a little help from my friends and family.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I like Julian Assange, even though he's kind of an arrogant prick.
34. What political issue stirred you the most? OWS
35. Who did you miss? The better question is who did I miss at the end of it, and the answer is...no one.
36. Who was the best new person you met? I have met a lot of rather interesting and fantastic people but I must say the most fascinating is Rob Mosca.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011. If you cannot master yourself, you are a slave.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Storm
(Via Bernie via Facebook)
Note: I am not a secular humanist, though I share elements of its philosophy. If you are offended by treatise on such, this is not for you. On the other hand, it is an excellent treatise on ignorance, which is universal, regardless of one's philosophy.
It also does an excellent job of differentiating science and magic.
Note: I am not a secular humanist, though I share elements of its philosophy. If you are offended by treatise on such, this is not for you. On the other hand, it is an excellent treatise on ignorance, which is universal, regardless of one's philosophy.
It also does an excellent job of differentiating science and magic.
Friday, December 16, 2011
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