Via Carrie Bobinski Via Facebook
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Cows
(Stolen from Stephanie Adams via Facebook)
I stole this from Serella Savenko - to keep myself from falling out laughing at my desk.
*A Cow based Economics Lesson;
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
Not economics-related, more cow-related, but I would add one:
PHYSICS DEPARTMENT
You have two cows.
They are spherical and of uniform density.
I stole this from Serella Savenko - to keep myself from falling out laughing at my desk.
*A Cow based Economics Lesson;
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
Not economics-related, more cow-related, but I would add one:
PHYSICS DEPARTMENT
You have two cows.
They are spherical and of uniform density.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
176 Things I am thankful for.
1. Family.
2. Friends.
3. Love.
4. Hope.
5. Faith.
6. Magic.
7. Science.
8. Order.
9. Chaos.
10. Change.
11. Memory.
12. The future.
13. Science Fiction.
14. Fantasy.
15. Mountains.
16. Forests.
17. Rivers.
18. The ocean.
19. Oregon.
20. Atlanta.
21. A warm bed on a chilly morning.
22. Not having to go anywhere when its raining.
23. My car.
24. My driver's licence.
25. My heart.
26. My lungs.
27. My Green belt in Karate.
28. My talents.
29. The talents of those around me.
30. Genius.
31. Museums.
32. Leonardo da Vinci.
33. Edison.
34. Tesla.
35. Thomas Jefferson.
36. Albert Einstein.
37. Dwight W. Eisenhower.
38. FDR.
39. JFK.
40. Teddy Roosevelt.
41. Windmills.
42. Douglas Adams.
43. Sherlock Holmes.
44. The time I've had to write.
45. The time I've had to read.
46. Steam punk.
47. Dragon con.
48. Air.
49. Water.
50. The sun.
51. The moon.
52. The sky.
53. The stars.
54. The meteor that didn't hit us ending all life on earth.
55. Ninjas.
56. Pirates.
57. Robots.
58. Zombies.
59. Monkeys.
60. Lemurs.
61. Dogs.
62. Cats.
63. Dogs and Cats Living Together.
64. Mass Hysteria.
65. The ability to cause mass hysteria.
66. The ability not to cause mass hysteria.
67. The River Bottom Nightmare Band.
68. Dr. Who.
69. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
70. Willy Wonka.
71. The Four Agreements.
72. His Needs, Her Needs.
73. The Dance of Anger.
74. Dairy Queen Soft Serve Chocolate and Cherry Dipped Ice Cream Cones.
75. Completing the 10 year email game of awesomeness that Byeard Maggot started.
76. Getting the Soapasians to the moon.
77. Dracula.
78. Count Chocula.
79. The Count.
80. Angel.
81. True Blood.
82. The Dresden Files.
83. That I haven't had to read Twilight.
84. That I can, if I want, read Twilight and not be struct down by blue bolts from the heavens.
85. The open highway.
86. Boulder, CO.
87. Littleton, CO.
88. The cool hidden world near the house we used to have in Colorado on the other side of the sewer pipe that no one seemed to know or care about.
89. Catonine Tails.
90. Snow!
91. Not having to deal with snow all the time.
92. Gravity.
93. The off button for the television when political news comes on.
94. Truth.
95. Honor.
96. Honesty.
97. Compassion.
98. People who try to make the world a better place.
99. People who try as hard as they can just to hang on.
100. People who honk at jerks on the freeway so I don't have to.
101. The Green Bay Packers.
102. My Masters.
103. The collaborative artistic endeavors I have been able to collaborate on.
104. The collaborative artistic endeavor I no longer have to collaborate on (You can probably guess. If you can't, don't worry about it....)
105. Wonderful moments while they lasted.
106. The healing balm of time.
107. Friends made where least expected.
108. Lessons learned.
109. Learning from other people's lessons.
110. The Muppets.
111. That I am not in love with Miss Piggy.
112. That if gravity reverses itself I really would be prepared.
113. Ditto Zombie Apocalypse.
114. Ditto Alien Invasion.
115. Ditto Infinity.
116. That there are cats in America and that the streets are not, in fact paved with cheese...or gold.
117. That if there is a heaven that all dogs go to it.
118. Poetry
119. Poetry in motion.
120. Aesthetically artistic members of the female persuasion doing that voodoo that they do so well.
121. French fries.
122. Advanced western medicine.
123. Humility.
124. The ability to admit when I am wrong.
125. Cereal.
126. Video Games.
127. Joss Whedon.
128. John Lassiter.
129. Jimmy Stewart.
130. Humphry Bogart.
131. Lauren Becall.
132. Gina Davis.
133. Madona (Yes. I know. I still like her music.)
134. Lady Gaga (I like her music too but I like how she pisses the right kind of people off more....)
135. Katanas.
136. The internets.
137. Teh internetz.
138. A series of tubes.
139. Facebook (despite the fact that it is run by @#$@#$@# morons...)
140. Blogs.
141. Podcasting.
142. The creative work of friends (I'm looking at you High Midnight.)
143. Howitzers.
144. Dynamite.
145. Anvils.
146. Grenades.
147. Sling shots.
148. Spaghetti.
149. Apples.
150. Apple Pie.
151. Apple Juice.
152. Apple Jacks.
153. Johnny Apple Seed.
153. Lasagna.
154. Vegetables.
155. Soup.
156. The fact that I like healthy food as much as I like crap.
157. The mute button.
158. The pause button.
159. Netflix. (Even if they have done some dumb things lately.)
160. Chainsaws.
161. God Mode.
162. God. (Even if I know Him as pretty different than you probably do.)
163. Freedom of Religion.
164. Freedom from Religion.
165. Fight Club.
166. Write Club.
167. Cavemen.
168. Cavewomen.
169. Not having to club women and drag them by the hair.
170. Women who think its kinky to be dragged by the hair.
171. People who do not think I'm strange because I can appreciate women who like weird kinky things.
172. People who look at me a little strange because I am grateful for people who do not look at me strangely because of stuff like that.
173. Llamas.
174. Ralph the Wonder Llama.
175. That the people responsible for that were sacked.
176. Crayons.
The list is infinite but I had to stop somewhere. :)
2. Friends.
3. Love.
4. Hope.
5. Faith.
6. Magic.
7. Science.
8. Order.
9. Chaos.
10. Change.
11. Memory.
12. The future.
13. Science Fiction.
14. Fantasy.
15. Mountains.
16. Forests.
17. Rivers.
18. The ocean.
19. Oregon.
20. Atlanta.
21. A warm bed on a chilly morning.
22. Not having to go anywhere when its raining.
23. My car.
24. My driver's licence.
25. My heart.
26. My lungs.
27. My Green belt in Karate.
28. My talents.
29. The talents of those around me.
30. Genius.
31. Museums.
32. Leonardo da Vinci.
33. Edison.
34. Tesla.
35. Thomas Jefferson.
36. Albert Einstein.
37. Dwight W. Eisenhower.
38. FDR.
39. JFK.
40. Teddy Roosevelt.
41. Windmills.
42. Douglas Adams.
43. Sherlock Holmes.
44. The time I've had to write.
45. The time I've had to read.
46. Steam punk.
47. Dragon con.
48. Air.
49. Water.
50. The sun.
51. The moon.
52. The sky.
53. The stars.
54. The meteor that didn't hit us ending all life on earth.
55. Ninjas.
56. Pirates.
57. Robots.
58. Zombies.
59. Monkeys.
60. Lemurs.
61. Dogs.
62. Cats.
63. Dogs and Cats Living Together.
64. Mass Hysteria.
65. The ability to cause mass hysteria.
66. The ability not to cause mass hysteria.
67. The River Bottom Nightmare Band.
68. Dr. Who.
69. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
70. Willy Wonka.
71. The Four Agreements.
72. His Needs, Her Needs.
73. The Dance of Anger.
74. Dairy Queen Soft Serve Chocolate and Cherry Dipped Ice Cream Cones.
75. Completing the 10 year email game of awesomeness that Byeard Maggot started.
76. Getting the Soapasians to the moon.
77. Dracula.
78. Count Chocula.
79. The Count.
80. Angel.
81. True Blood.
82. The Dresden Files.
83. That I haven't had to read Twilight.
84. That I can, if I want, read Twilight and not be struct down by blue bolts from the heavens.
85. The open highway.
86. Boulder, CO.
87. Littleton, CO.
88. The cool hidden world near the house we used to have in Colorado on the other side of the sewer pipe that no one seemed to know or care about.
89. Catonine Tails.
90. Snow!
91. Not having to deal with snow all the time.
92. Gravity.
93. The off button for the television when political news comes on.
94. Truth.
95. Honor.
96. Honesty.
97. Compassion.
98. People who try to make the world a better place.
99. People who try as hard as they can just to hang on.
100. People who honk at jerks on the freeway so I don't have to.
101. The Green Bay Packers.
102. My Masters.
103. The collaborative artistic endeavors I have been able to collaborate on.
104. The collaborative artistic endeavor I no longer have to collaborate on (You can probably guess. If you can't, don't worry about it....)
105. Wonderful moments while they lasted.
106. The healing balm of time.
107. Friends made where least expected.
108. Lessons learned.
109. Learning from other people's lessons.
110. The Muppets.
111. That I am not in love with Miss Piggy.
112. That if gravity reverses itself I really would be prepared.
113. Ditto Zombie Apocalypse.
114. Ditto Alien Invasion.
115. Ditto Infinity.
116. That there are cats in America and that the streets are not, in fact paved with cheese...or gold.
117. That if there is a heaven that all dogs go to it.
118. Poetry
119. Poetry in motion.
120. Aesthetically artistic members of the female persuasion doing that voodoo that they do so well.
121. French fries.
122. Advanced western medicine.
123. Humility.
124. The ability to admit when I am wrong.
125. Cereal.
126. Video Games.
127. Joss Whedon.
128. John Lassiter.
129. Jimmy Stewart.
130. Humphry Bogart.
131. Lauren Becall.
132. Gina Davis.
133. Madona (Yes. I know. I still like her music.)
134. Lady Gaga (I like her music too but I like how she pisses the right kind of people off more....)
135. Katanas.
136. The internets.
137. Teh internetz.
138. A series of tubes.
139. Facebook (despite the fact that it is run by @#$@#$@# morons...)
140. Blogs.
141. Podcasting.
142. The creative work of friends (I'm looking at you High Midnight.)
143. Howitzers.
144. Dynamite.
145. Anvils.
146. Grenades.
147. Sling shots.
148. Spaghetti.
149. Apples.
150. Apple Pie.
151. Apple Juice.
152. Apple Jacks.
153. Johnny Apple Seed.
153. Lasagna.
154. Vegetables.
155. Soup.
156. The fact that I like healthy food as much as I like crap.
157. The mute button.
158. The pause button.
159. Netflix. (Even if they have done some dumb things lately.)
160. Chainsaws.
161. God Mode.
162. God. (Even if I know Him as pretty different than you probably do.)
163. Freedom of Religion.
164. Freedom from Religion.
165. Fight Club.
166. Write Club.
167. Cavemen.
168. Cavewomen.
169. Not having to club women and drag them by the hair.
170. Women who think its kinky to be dragged by the hair.
171. People who do not think I'm strange because I can appreciate women who like weird kinky things.
172. People who look at me a little strange because I am grateful for people who do not look at me strangely because of stuff like that.
173. Llamas.
174. Ralph the Wonder Llama.
175. That the people responsible for that were sacked.
176. Crayons.
The list is infinite but I had to stop somewhere. :)
Monday, November 7, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
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